IFSP meeting, today, May 31 @ 3:30pm

Today, I have The Peanut's IFSP meeting (for those who don't speak special ed. IFSP= Individualized Family Service Plan). We're going to set her goals for social, speech, and academics for the upcoming year. I hope everything goes well. It probably will, but you never know.

See, last year, January 2006 to be specific, The Peanut qualified for Early Intervention (EI) Special Education Services based on the labels they gave her (at the time speech delay and low cognition), and at that meeting I turned into a total wimp.

Completely out of character for me. I'm, um, anything but a shy wall-flower.

I had had a sinking suspicion that she had something else different about her, but I didn't know what. At her developmental and intake screenings the ESD people has made comments about certain behaviors of hers sounding Autistic. (when they said Autism/Autistic, I blanched) Yet, at the meetings when I requested Peanut be screened for Autism they said
"No, not now. I think we should wait a while."

Wait a while? WTF????

Despite my background in Education, I turned into a jelly-brained nincompoop. I just dumbly let them (the IFSP team) set Peanut's goals, and what her program would encompass. I must have greatly resembled one of those dashboard bobble-head dolls.

Yes. Yes. Yes. No. Yes. No. No. Okay.

As I left the building that day I felt so hollow. Here I was thrilled my little girl was going to get some much needed help to 'catch -up' and at the same time I felt like I'd lost. I had heard the 'A' word: Autism. The 'A' word mentioned in the same sentence as that of my Peanut's name.

It was like going to the doctor and having the doctor say: "Well, based on my observations you might have cancer. I don't know if you do or you don't. But, we're just going to wait a while. We'll do the testing to see if you have cancer or not next year. Have a nice afternoon. Buh-bye."

I now know that as a parent, I DID have the right to request an Autism screening (or as they say, evaluation) and they did NOT have the right to refuse me that screening.

If you are a parent with a child in Special Education know this: You are an equal member of your child's IEP/IFSP team. If EVERYONE on the team does not agree, things are not settled. If you want something and they're telling you 'no', go to the person in charge of the meeting's supervisor. If need be, go up a level from that. You have the right to have reasonable requests met. If push comes to shove, request a due process hearing. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO GET HELP!

So, today, at 3:30pm I am going to Peanut's meeting. I have already a set of ideas I'd like to see put into practice for her goals. I know her preschool teacher wants to see her in a 'community preschool' setting, rather than the specialized preschool, but I don't believe I'm ready for Peanut to go there. Currently, she loves going to preschool. She has a lot of successes in the specialized classroom. In a community preschool (where most of the people who work there have a high-school diploma, or if you're lucky an Associates degree) I'm afraid there won't be adequate support for my Peanut to be successful, happy, and continue to develop a love of learning and school. If she has a bad experience now, at 4 years old, she's going to have a bad taste in her mouth for the remainder of her academic career.

I do not want her to begin hating school at this young of an age.

I'm anxious for this meeting. It will be myself, the speech therapist, her preschool teacher, and the Autism specialist. I am probably making a bigger deal out of it than I need to, but I don't want to turn into the jelly brained idiot at this meeting and miss out on any opportunities that Peanut could take advantage of. I also don't want to get what I call 'nice bullied'. I worry about being the bobble-head at the meeting but at the same time I don't want to roll in there and have to turn into the cast-iron bitch. These people are there with good intentions and they want to help Peanut, but at the same time they're there to protect the interests (and FUNDING!!) of the ESD.

Basically, they're there to keep from shelling out any more cash to pay for Peanut's education than they, at a bare-bones minimum, have to. That isn't right. ALL children should get what they need and deserve. Including the Peanut.

I've got about an hour and 45 minutes until the meeting starts. I'm as ready as I'll ever be.

Parents with typically developing children really don't realize (I think) how lucky they are. It would be just so much easier to worry about what clothes I'm going to send my girl to school in, and worry about whether or not she had hot lunch or sack lunch. Some days I feel tired. Tired of advocating. Tired of worrying. Tired of being that strong foundation that holds everything up and the glue that sticks it all together.

Today is one of those days. But, moms don't get sick days or personal leave days. So, I'm off to do battle in the name of my sweet Peanut. Like a Knight of old, with his lady's favor tied on tight, with my faithful steed, Gold Honda Odyssey, to deliver me to my joust.

Je suis pret.