The Second Encounter

After the first party, I didn't think about B.J. again. I had no reason to think about him. In fact, I was still with the guy from the party B. But, our paths were to cross very soon.



"Stranger than fiction" has always been a theme in my life, and in dating there were no exceptions.

B. and I had gone out on a few dates. As I said before, I was not looking for anyone at the time, and what did come my way certainly wasn't going to be for anything long-term. We had a good time, but I knew it wasn't 'the one', whatever that was supposed to mean. We were just enjoying one an other's company for the time being and it was just fine. I was barely 18 and B. was somewhere between 23-25 (I've forgotten over time) and he worked at a pizza parlor. Sad to say, but I knew he had no ambition in life and was just one of those folks who'd be happy to float along on life's current, wherever it would take him. Even at the tender age of 18 I was a 'hard driver' and high-strung; I knew I needed someone in my 'future' who wasn't entirely aimless. I'll be brutally honest: I was very self-centered and wasn't above dating guys for their cars or the good time I'd get to have with them (gosh, that sounds just as awful as it is; no way around that). I was with B. just to have fun.

Since 'fun' was on the agenda, it came to pass that he and I were asked if we wanted to go on a double date with this couple, C. and B.J. Yup, my B.J. We decided 'why not?' and so the date was set.

It is funny how some things work out. On that date C. and B. decided it would be a lot of fun to get 'messed up' on some illegal substances. At this point in my life I had started to 'wean' myself off of any sort of 'stuff' (if you catch my drift), as I was about to go to college and partying was getting old. In retrospect, it is hard to believe all the partying I did and the kind of partying my friends and I did. Just totally wrong, in every way, shape and form. I chalk it up to good experience nowadays, and I don't necessarily regret it, but sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if only I'd done things differently. But, that is another stream of posts all together. As usual, I'm off on a tangent.


Anyhow, B. J. and I had declined any stuff and that left us stranded in a living room together, without our respective dates. We talked for a while and enjoyed some laughs. Eventually we wound up leaving, separately, in our own cars.

At this point in time, I thought B.J. was a nice guy, and pretty up-right. Never had done drugs, and aside from his twenty-first birthday didn't drink--one bad hangover, his first, was enough to end that type of activity.

I was still not exactly interested, but it was quickly becoming clear that the dating that B. and I had enjoyed was soon to become past-tense.

The Beginning: First Sight

I'd like to start to jot down some notes on how B.J. and I met and became 'us.' Here goes nothing:

I'd love to be able to tell you it was ever so sweet, full of roses and hand-holding and 'sweet nothings' but it isn't. It's much more raw and gritty.

But, such is my life.

The first time I saw B.J. was at a party. I had been feeling lousy and just wanted to stay home and be a blob on the couch and suffer with my 'cold'. But, as luck and posession of a car and driver's license would have it, I was not to be a party pooper that night. My friends H. and J. wanted badly to go to a party across town. I tried to wheedle and whine my way out of driving 'us' to the party, but 'no' was not an answer they'd take. So, off the couch, into a pair of Doc Marten's and away we went.

The party was in a semi-sleazy part of town (the wrong side of the tracks, if you will) and it was full of people I didn't know, didn't care to know, and was generally content to ignore. I was not in a particularly chipper mood. I can remember being introduced to a score of people as I lit my cigarette and glanced around the room. That was when I saw B.J.

I wasn't terribly impressed, to be truthful. B.J. is a nice looking man, but I wasn't exactly 'looking' for anyone at the time. I do remember two things about B.J. from that night: 1) he was considerably 'older' than the rest of the 18-21 year-old crowd (he was 23), and 2) he was very tall and dark.

Beyond that initial meeting, if you could call it that, I didn't take notice of B.J. the rest of the evening. In fact, I wound up with another guy that night, again, not in my initial intentions.

The Gridiron, part 3

Once we got into the game, I was pleasantly surprised to see that the tickets that we had turned out to be our old season ticket section. I thought that was kinda cool, it definitely added to the feeling of nostalgia.

See, B.J. and I went to the games while I was an undergrad/grad and 'sat' in the student section (a.k.a. the section with seats that never sits down!). After I graduated we had season tickets in Section 17. Our tickets for Saturday were Section 17, row 43, seats 11 and 12. It was such a treat to be there, and it took us back to a less dramatic time in our lives: pre-children, when both of our mothers were still happy, (relatively) healthy, and still alive.

Saturday's game was...interesting. By far not the best game I'd ever been to--that would have to have been when Joey Harrington was playing (I heart Joey!), the 2000 game against Stanford. It went into overtime. What an adrenaline rush. I lost my voice at that game, that's how good it was. Ah, what warm fuzzy feelings thinking of old games brings up. Back to the point, the November 3, 2007 game. The first quarter ducks came on strong. They had a reasonable offense and a great defense (they always have a good defense). They scored 14 points in the first 4 minutes. What a rush! The Sundevils had about equal possession time of the ball. It looked dismal at the end of the 4th quarter, but then Dennis Dixon does the rockin' fake-out pass type move, where he didn't pass, and rushes it down the field for a TD! Man! that was a-some.

Then came the second and third quarter. SNOOZE! What the heck the Ducks were thinking...I'll never know. Good thing, too, I don't think I'd ever be the same if I actually knew what 19-22 year-old college football playing men thought. That would probably (definitely) earn me a trip to the state mental facility...hmm...come to think of it a nice vacation wouldn't be too bad. I'd get to see Oprah, uninterrupted! Well, except for the other crazies in there with me probably wouldn't ever shut up. Maybe I'll stay here...I digress.

In the second and third quarter the only good play, according to moi, football expert extraordinaire (hee hee) was at the end of the second (or third, can't quite remember) where there was only one minute left on the clock and, somehow, some way, they managed to rush the end zone for an actual TD--not a field goal, or a two-point conversion, an honest-to-goodness TD. Pretty hot stuff.

The game finished out with a little more pep in the fourth, but let's face it, it wasn't what you'd call great football. We won. Against a previously undefeated Arizona State, but the victory was Luke-warm.

After the game, and helping my FIL break down the tailgater (all of about 5 mins!) we had a choice: wait in the 500+ person long bus line to get a ride to our car, or walk to the car. We decided to walk. It was a good walk--wound up being 4.5-5miles. A bit longer than I guessed it would be, but that was fine. We enjoyed the crisp autumn air, the relative quiet, and just time together, alone. B.J. and I used to go for walks in the evening all the time. I hadn't quite realized how much I missed those walks until then. Of course I love my children, more than life itself, but sometimes I don't realize just how much they have re-ordered the flow and ebb of my life until quiet moments like these. We didn't talk much on our walk. We just were. Sometimes the best times are those that aren't spoiled by unnecessary chatter.

Once we got back to my Dad's house we were regaled with how well both children did. Peanut ate and Chub did not (whoa!? That was weird). They were happy, well behaved, minded my Dad and his wife, and generally did not wear out their welcome (praise the Lord!). However, my Dad showed us a bandaged finger that resulted from watching my kidlets.

A bandaged finger? Yup. My Dad had a bandaged index finger.

I asked my dad, "So, how did that happen?"
He replied, "Well, I had some work to do on the roof with the gutters to get finished up, so I climbed up on the roof to knock it out. The next thing I know I'm moving the metal around and I catch something out of the corner of my eye."

At this point I'm thinking 'oh no.'

"And I turn and look, and there's Kai! He's on top of the roof, just standing there, watching me! I couldn't believe it. The baby is on the roof. Well, I'm scared to death that he's going to fall or get hurt, so I tossed the gutter aside quickly, and in the process sliced open my finger--a good inch-and-a-half. Probably should get stitches. Blood was spurting everywhere."

I'm a little green around the gills right now, thinking of my dad gushing blood--he bleeds like a stuck pig--and having visions of my little man on the roof.

He continues on, "I went right over to him and grabbed him. He was sure interested in watching my finger spurt--I don't think I got any on his clothes--and I carried him down the ladder. What I couldn't figure out," and he gestures here with his hands to indicate 14-16" space, "is how he managed to climb up the ladder. He's just a little guy...it scared the hell out of me."

I, on the other hand, was not the slightest bit surprised that my Chublet managed to shimmy up the ladder. He's part monkey, I swear. Didn't mean I wasn't mildly FREAKED OUT that my 2 year old managed to climb up a ladder and find himself standing on the roof, but I wasn't even remotely shocked that he could climb up there.

In the end, no harm, no foul. Dad's finger will be OK. Chubb-chubb was just trying to 'help'--he is my helper-boy, to a fault. And everyone had a good time.

The drive home was uneventful--I passed out just as we were leaving town, and woke up about 2 miles from home. What a great day.

I just love college football.

The Gridiron, part 2

Saturday, game day, was a total blast.

I felt like a little bit of a 'weenie' with my post about it on Saturday, but, I figured, at least I made my goal: one post per day in November. That certainly doesn't mean that the post(s) are all going to be prolific, but at least they're going to be there. Enough said.

We arrived at my Dad's house without incident, and with leftover Chinese food.

What could be better?

The kidlets, B.J. and I stopped en route to my Dad's house at our favorite Chinese food restaurant (read: dive). When we lived in that city, we'd hit Lok Yauen at least every other week (sometimes more than that). The food was fresh, hot, and ever so yummy, and when you're young and poor (wait a minute, I'm still poor...something wrong here...) cheap and good fits the bill perfectly. I still have yet to find a 'replacement' Chinese restaurant in our current home-town. After 4.5 years, I'm doubtful that I ever will. At any rate, the kids were well behaved (if you don't count the fight that occurred when we arrived--both kids insisted that they sit by mommy. Nobody would sit by daddy (bummer for me). So I wound up eating my lunch stuffed in the booth with not just one, but two squirming, fried-rice and sweet-n-sour flinging foodies) and we enjoyed our food.


We rushed in and rushed out when we dropped the kidlets off. I felt mildly bad about the quick "hi" and "bye" but we had to get a move-on, or else traffic...


Arrived at the bus depot, and the lot was already chock full, despite the 2 hour-early arrival we'd managed. In line we found out the bus fare would not be free, or $1 like it usually had in the past. This was bad for me, as I never carry cash. Thank goodness I'd snagged my old student (as in 10 years old, even though I'd only finished my Masters a couple years ago) ID in a feeble hope that it would score me bus fare--it did!! Yea! So, it's a little dishonest. I figure I more than paid for the trip in my student and incidental fees over the course of 5 years that I could get a 'donated' $3 bus fare for the game. B.J. on the other hand, got stuck paying.


The bus driver said the ETA for the trip to Autzen Stadium would be approximately 30 minutes. Four minutes after that announcement we were at the stadium and disembarking and on our way to the Tailgater. Ye-haw!


It was a laid-back affair. About 20 people in all (small, compared to Tailgaters of yore). There were hoagie-sandwiches, chips, Waldorf salad (you know, you can't possibly have a football party in the parking-lot without Waldorf salad how bizarre...though not as weird as the Sushi in the past) among other goodies. Since being stuffed with (likely) MSG ridden food, I partook of a glass of Cabernet, with a Coors chaser. By the time we'd had our drinks and socialized it was time to head in for some college football!

To be continued...

We won!

I'm so totally toasted right now, I can hardly see straight enough to type! It's 11pm and I just rolled in to the driveway.

The super-condensed, short version of the story: We won! 35-17--against a previously undefeated team.

Victory is sweet.

Fun Contest & The Gridiron

So, I'm always (wasting time) looking for new and interesting things online.

And I found this little contest, here, at a great li'l blog I often read, The Fabulous Mommy Fussypants' Guide to Life.


Hope you have a chance to take a peek. Have a great weekend. I'm already gearing up for tomorrow: Ducks vs. Arizona. I'm so stoked I get to go to this game. It has been a long time since I've had a chance to watch live college football.

Tomorrow's itinerary looks like this: Play with the kidlets all morning (B.J. has to work, and will be home around 10am--I hope!). Drive south about an hour and half, drop the kidlets off at my Dad's house. I'm so thrilled that my dad has graciously offered to watch my monkeys--it allows us to totally enjoy the game and, or course, The Tailgater!

Once we become singlized (as in, kid-less), we'll head to my FIL's house, park the car and walk the mile or so to Autzen Stadium, and get ready for some FOOTBALL! We'll enjoy the little soiree in the parking lot (I may even enjoy a beer--or three) and off to the game. It should be really good--they're ranked no. 4 in the Pac10 and it is going to be televised on FSN, the local stations, and ESPN. Pretty cool, huh?

I can hardly wait...

I'll update you...well...tomorrow!

Weird word of the day

OK. So, I'm a really random type of person. I'm an official cyber-card-carrying-member of NaBloPoMo, and I was planning on going with the theme of "B.J. and Lee: The True (unedited) Story" and "Travel" for the month of November, but, alas, I'm not going to stick to it rigidly. I'm going to use those themes, with a little ADHD (randomness) thrown in for good measure. Like this post:

Schadenfreude.

Ever heard of this one before? I certainly hadn't, and I consider
myself a reasonably literate member of the species. I've encountered it at least twice this week, alone, so I thought I'd share with you a little schoolin'. Here it goes:

Wikipedia defines it as:

a German word meaning
'pleasure taken from someone else's misfortune'.

Who knew there was and actual word for being a nasty little human being?

We all know someone who this definition fits to a 'T'. Heck, I'm sure at one time or another we have been that person who is guilty of committing this particular sin (not moi, of course...being facetious here. Sad to admit it, but hey, I'm not into lying...unless it is about my weight, but that is an entirely different issue in and of itself).

I just love the Internet. I learn so much, and at such weird hours, too!