Civil Disobedience: 2009

The late Charleton Heston, civil rights activist offered these words of wisdom nearly a decade ago about the culture war, and I certainly think they apply here [in today's climate]:

"You simply disobey. Peaceably, yes. Respectfully, of course. Nonviolently, absolutely. But when told how to think or what to say or how to behave, we don't. We disobey the social protocol that stifles and stigmatizes personal freedom.I learned the awesome power of disobedience from Dr. King who learned it from Gandhi, and Thoreau, and Jesus, and every other great man who led those in the right against those with the might.

"Disobedience is in our DNA. We feel innate kinship with that disobedient spirit that tossed tea into Boston Harbor , that sent Thoreau to jail, that refused to sit in the back of the bus, that protested a war in Viet Nam .

"In that same spirit, I'm asking you to disavow cultural correctness with massive disobedience of rogue authority, social directives, and onerous laws that weaken personal freedom.

"But be careful. It hurts. Disobedience demands that you put yourself at risk. Dr. King stood on lots of balconies. You must be willing to be humiliated, to endure the modern-day equivalent of the police dogs at Montgomery and the water Cannons at Selma . You must be willing to experience discomfort."

..."So that this nation may long endure, I urge you to follow in the hallowed footsteps of the great disobedience of history that freed exiles, founded religions, defeated tyrants, and yes, in the hands of an aroused rabble in arms and a few great men, by God's grace, built this country."

....Tastes like chicken....

This is funny no matter who you are going to vote for. Enjoy.

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

SARAH PALIN: Before it got to the other side, I shot the chicken, cleaned and dressed it, and had chicken burgers for lunch.

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where’s my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken doesn’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Yes, this is from an email going around (written by ??), and yes I pirated images, however, I seek no financial gain, only to make you laugh.

This little piece of satire is particularly funny and strangely poignant. Please be sure to vote!

Plagiarism....and stuff

So, if the MLA or APA folks come around, just 'X' out this window...because I stole it! It is from an email forward (anonymous), and is too funny not to share. That, and I got lousy news at work today: My partner is being transferred to another location--executive decision by the top brass. I'm completely and totally bummed. We both were in tears. So, with that in mind I'll cheer myself (and maybe you, too!) up.

For your consideration:

If you are 30 or older (or close to it) you will think this is
hilarious!!!!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious
diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what
with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning ... uphill
BOTH ways

yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no
way I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids
about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it! But now that...
I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around
and notice the youth of today.

So here it goes . . . . .

When I was a kid we didn't have The Internet . If we wanted to know
something, we had to go to the library and look it up
ourselves, in the card catalogue!! There was no email!! We had to
actually write somebody a letter .with a pen! Then you had to walk
all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would
take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had
to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself! Or
you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd
usually talk over the beginning and mess it all up!

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the
phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it!
And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone
rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom,
your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you
just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances,
mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with
high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games
like 'Space Invaders' and 'asteroids'. Your guy was a little square!
You actually had to use your imagination!! And there were no
multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you
could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and
faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theatre there no such thing as stadium
seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some
old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you
were just screwed!

Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15
channels and there was no on screen menu and no remote control! You
had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on!
You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off
your butt and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was
no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday
Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying! ?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for
cartoons, you spoiled little brats!

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we
had to use the stove ... imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had
to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the stove
forever like an idiot.

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it
too easy. You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes
back in 1980!

Regards,

The over 30 Crowd

...bon anniversarie a moi, and another random quote.

Stolen from the siggy of an email forward:

I'm experiencing deja vu and amnesia at the same time. I have the feeling I've forgotten this before.

Yep. Pretty much sums up my life experience. Who knew? It is possible for me to be succinct (even if it is plagiarism!).

Hope you all have a scrumptious weekend. B.J. has something 'FUN' (his words) planned for Saturday, the day I hit the big _-_ ! (No, I will not indulge you on which two-digit birthday we are speaking of, but I'll give you a hint, the second digit is a 0.)

Wish me luck on my birthday fête--who knows if B.J.'s idea of fun will mesh with my own...

Random quote of the day:

While making breakfast on the counter-top griddle I overheard B.J. mutter with disgust:

"Watched bacon never boils."