Fat Chick on a Mission

Whew!

Life has finally started (started, I said, not is) to find a rhythm, and I'm beginning to be able to navigate the ebb and flow of being a working mother again.

Work: doing good.

Finally mastering some aspects of my day, and beginning to build some confidence with our new S.F.A. curriculum. (gasping for breath here, like I ran 1/2 a block or something...). My boss and team leader keep popping into my work space while I'm inspiring and moulding young minds during said new curriculum delivery, and they are smiling and nodding their heads "yes." They're doing this--a lot. (They seem to think what they're seeing is exceptional or something--little do they know...). They want to video tape me doing my deed, and I resolutely refuse to have any sort of image recording device, of any kind, near me.

Uh, uh. No way, Jose.


The 'powers that be' (as I warmly refer to them) want to tape me to show what I do to others. Like I'm some sort of role model.

Eew. I don't think so. Don't put me on a pedestal; I'm afraid of heights.

For starters, the day they would tape me would be the day that Chicken Little's prophecy comes true, and it all comes crashing down. In my room. Loudly. Furthermore, it will also be the day that I model the most inappropriate, developmentally 'wrong' methodology (Murphy, is, after all a distant cousin of mine...or should be if he isn't). And, to put the icing on the cake: NOBODY is gonna wanna see my fat patootie on camera--very LEAST of all, ME!


So, that brings me to my mission: To stop being a 'Fat Chick'.

I am going to reshape my body.

Notice how I didn't say 'I want to' or 'I'm going to try to...' I AM going to get into shape. (Yes, yes, I do know round is a shape. But, let's face it, I've "been there, done that" for entirely too long).

Notice that I also didn't say (in a whiny voice), "I'm going to go on a diet." The word 'diet' is, to be cliche, just another four-letter word. I don't like to use profanity on my blog, so I won't.

I'm starting small. I'm being conscious of what, and more importantly when and how much I eat daily. And I'm making a fantastic effort toward a 30 minute walk (or other sustained activity) every day. So far: I'm doing a brilliant job of it.

I need to take better care of me. If I don't do it, nobody else will. I want to be in better health for many reasons, but the most prominent right now is so that I can finally quit feeling so much shame about how I look when I: see myself in the mirror, see myself in a current photograph, or, (God forbid) on video. I want to look at myself (in any format) and think to myself "I'm not a 'perfect size 6' but I'm good enough for me".

I think that is a reasonable request. One I intend to fulfill. One little step at a time (pun intended) and one day, and probably one minute (depending on the day) at a time.

I've been fat long enough.

It is time to try out the world in a new form, and shed the 'cocoon'.